I'm Sorry
by jamesbond's dad
Summary: AU. I came across this poem and decided to do a series of one shots on it. It revolves around Percy and how he never gets his girl. No happy endings. Sorry. OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**I came across this poem in ****awesomest one's**** profile. So thought I'd do a series of one-shots on this. Complete Ooc and AU.**

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Chapter 1**: I'm sorry that I bought you roses, to tell you that I like you.

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As I trudged down the steps, gradually escaping the one place where I can ignore the voices in my head that keep yelling at me _'Just tell her already you idiot.' _

_Its not like I don't want to do it but its more like what will she do_, I argue with myself over and over again.

I fight with myself everyday over the same issue- should I confess to Annabeth Chase that I like her.

We have always been friends. Best friends. I've seen her through every phase of her life- happy, excited, proud, confused, upset, depressed and even *gulp* horny.

We've been friends from the moment we met each other. Today at 20, after nearly 18 years of crushing on the same girl, I still look at myself in the mirror and ask- _"Why haven't I done it till now?" _

I was always with her when she needed a shoulder to cry on. I was there when she needed a hug to convince herself that she wasn't unwanted. I was there to prove her wrong when she thought family was just a word, nothing more. I was there to punch the daylights out of the most popular guy in school when he in school rejected her and tried to make fun of her innocent crush on him. I was there standing under her window with a cake when no one remembered her birthday. I was always her best friend even when we fought. I never left her side and I swear I never will.

Snapping out of the flashbacks I was getting I knew our relationship had to mean something more than just friends.

Today, on Valentine's Day, I made a decision to tell her, to show her what I've felt almost throughout my life.

But how?

I roamed through the streets inspecting everything, looking for inspiration but nothing came to my mind.

Dejected, I walked into the central park and sat down on a bench which was unoccupied. I tried not to notice couples who were looking at each other with loving eyes. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop the jealousy creeping into me, filling every inch of my body. I brought out my cell phone to keep my mind of my surroundings but the picture on the home screen brought another pang of longing in my heart.

It was a picture of the two of us. Faces squashed together, grinning like idiots at the camera, looking almost like a couple. _Almost_.

The one thing I had hoped would take my mind off the current situation failed me and I frustration overwhelmed me. I gripped my phone tighter and prepared to throw it as far away as I could. I raised my head and suddenly stopped.

Right in front of me, a boy went down on his knees and raised a bouquet of roses offering them to a girl. I read his lips which formed the words _'Be my Valentine'_ elegantly. The girl giggled and, with blush covering every inch of her face, nodded.

I stared at the couple and watched as the boy stood up and kissed the girl.

No way. This couldn't be so darn easy. Impossible.

But the girl put her arms around his neck and kissed back.

Possible?

Why not?

I sat there in confusion. How the heck did confessing become so easy?

I took a deep breath and got up looking at the picture on my phone once more, trying to find the necessary courage.

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"Hey Percy. What's up?"

After staring at the same number for an hour my ADHD kicked in and I almost involuntarily pressed the call button.

After a few rings Annabeth had answered my phone.

"Y-Yeah. How are you?" _Are you stupid or something_, I asked myself.

"Perfectly fine."

"Well…that's nice." _Your_ _idiocy is reaching new heights, congrats._

"So…"

"So what?"

"Why'd you call stupid?" I could sense that she was starting to get irritated.

"Oh yeah… I-I was wond-wondering if you were d-doing anything righ-right now." _Real smooth._

"Nope. Nothing important anyway."

"D-Do you mind meeting m- me?"

I shut my eyes at that and held my breath, waiting for the rejection but hoping I'd be proven wrong. I was preparing to press the end button but-

"Sure. Meet in The Café in an hour"

"Cool." And she cut the phone.

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"So why'd you call me here."

We were sitting in the café across each other.

I hesitantly pulled out the bouquet of red roses I had bought for her and held them in front of her.

She eyed the roses critically and then looked at me puzzled.

"Um…Happy Valentine's day?"

What meant to be a statement, a confession, sounded like a question even to me. I mentally made a point to kick myself after the whole ordeal.

Realization crossed her face and she looked confused and………guilty?

No. This shouldn't be happening.

She should be happy and give me her perfect smile.

Anything but this.

She took the roses from me and hope crept into my heart.

She put the roses on the chair besides her and took a deep breath to say something to me. But before a single word could escape her lips we heard a voice behind us-

"ANNABETH!"

I turned around to face Luke Castellan.

He ran up to Annabeth completely ignoring me and pulled out a diamond necklace. Of course, the moronic rich brat.

I turned my attention towards Annabeth who was…smiling?

I felt like someone had just hammered my heart, breaking it into pieces. What surprised me was that the people around me didn't hear a sound. [AN: Cliché. I know, sorry]

He put it around her neck and kissed her.

She kissed him back breaking my already shattered heart.

"Want to go get dinner?" He asked her.

"Sure." She said.

With that they both grasped each other's hands and walked out of the café without a second glance at me.

I bored my eyes into my best friend's back hoping she'd at least turn around and say sorry. Maybe I'll feel better.

She doesn't.

I willed the tears to stay within me. I wouldn't cry. I can't.

I got up and noticed my bouquet lying on the seat next to where Annabeth sat.

_Die_, I told it, _just like I did right now_.

I walked back to my personal sanctuary, my home and as soon as I closed the door behind me I collapsed on the floor.

I brought my hands to my face, but just before they reached my eyes a thought crossed my mind- my promise to kick myself after the whole ordeal.

I chuckled a bit before breaking down.

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**I'm really sorry for making Annabeth materialistic and a bitch. Sorry again. I'll change the name of the girl if you want me to. **

**I know its not good enough but anyway…**

**Please read and review. I'll continue if I get enough favorable reviews.**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is the next chapter. Hope you feel satisfied.**

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**Chapter 2: I'm sorry that I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk.**

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"Come on Percyyy. One drink. Please."

"No Annabeth, absolutely not. I hope, despite being drunk, you realize that I'm supposed to drive you home."

"Who cares? There's no one at home right now. I'll sleep here."

I just shook my head and thought about how I'd gotten into the mess I was currently in.

See, it was Annabeth's 17th birthday and, giving in to her wishes, I had taken her to a bar where she suddenly developed an urge to get drunk. Generally on her birthday it was more like we'd go to the beach or visit some architectural wonder of some sort (only she enjoyed the second option) or even just celebrate it in her home. She was always the type of girl who liked peace rather than loud music, who'd burn all the make-up stuff she got for Christmas rather than use it.

But ever since last year she had started to get more and more influenced by the popular crowd she started hanging out with in her school. I wasn't in her school so I couldn't stop the change that started showing in her personality. She was always very polite but lately she had actually started talking people down saying things like _"this is your position, stay here"_ to a guard who was trying to be friendly or _"get_ _the fuck out of my face smartass"_ to a salesman who was just trying to show her some stuff. She had even started using make-up.

This wasn't the Annabeth I knew. But I tried to keep her old self alive. I tried. That's it.

Here I was sitting in a bar with her, watching her get drunk and not doing anything about it.

I tried to stop her but to no avail. She went a step ahead and tried to force me to join the _drunk brigand_.

Obviously I refused, but couldn't stop her from getting shots after shots.

Looking at her trying to climb on the table to dance, I decided that she had had enough. I quickly grabbed her by the waist, picked her up and started towards the exit.

She surprised me by wrapping her arms around my neck and reaching continually upwards to kiss me. I moved back.

Not that I didn't want to. I had a crush on her, true. Maybe I even loved her but kissing a drunk girl who has absolutely no control over her actions was a strict no for me.

She grabbed my face in her hands and pulled me towards her lips. I almost gave in but thankfully my conscience took over and moved out of her grasp.

She looked at me and said-"Percyyy, why are you moving so much?"

I sighed before replying "Annabeth, you're drunk."

"I'm not. All that stuff was like water to me."

Typical Annabeth, always trying to prove me wrong. I didn't comment but continued walking, dragging her along with me.

I put her in the car, strapped the seat belt around her and started the car to take her home.

All through the journey she kept reaching over to me but I just kept her at bay.

Finally we reached her home. I was to stay with her for the night because her parents weren't in town. They didn't mind, they trusted me.

As soon I locked the door behind me Annabeth tackled me into a kiss catching me by surprise. As her lips made contact with mine, I lost sense and kissed her back hungrily. Standing just inside her house we started making out. As the kiss intensified I felt Annabeth grab my hoodie and pull it off my shoulders. Breaking apart for air I moved back and nearly ripped off her jacket. I bent down and attacked her neck, setting a trail of fire along it. As I reached the sensitive portion just at the base of her neck, Annabeth arched her back and let out a loud moan.

The sound suddenly snapped me back from my daze and I pushed her back, holding her at an arm's length. I looked into her eyes and could see the frustration clearly visible. She squirmed in my grip trying to press herself against me once more but I didn't let go. I could feel her begging me to not stop but I held my ground.

Finally she screamed at me in fury, "Why not?"

I grabbed her by her by her shoulders and looked into her eyes with so much intensity that she had to lower her gaze. When I noticed that she wasn't struggling anymore I pulled her into a hug and whispered, "You are drunk, Annabeth. You don't want this and I'll never make you do anything you don't want."

"But every girl in my school has done it and they tease me for being a virgin." I whispered back sadly.

_So this where this was heading_, I thought to myself.

"Annabeth, girls in your school are jerks if they think that having sex raises them above virgins. You should learn to ignore them. "I said soothingly.

"But I'm 17, I shouldn't be a virgin. I feel like a loser whenever I talk to them and they bring sex up."

"There's nothing wrong with being a virgin at 17, Annabeth. Aren't I one to?"

She nodded against my chest.

I smiled and, pushing her away from me, I said, "Come on let's make you drink plenty of water or else you'll have a wicked hangover tomorrow."

She smiled and we walked (and stumbled) over to the kitchen.

A few days later Annabeth called me up. She was sobbing and didn't say a word.

"Annabeth? What's wrong?" I asked, concern lacing my every word.

"They teased me again for being a virgin" she said "they called me names and even called me a..a…" she stopped.

Anger filled me. "What did they say Annabeth." I growled.

"It doesn't matter." She screamed at me. "All of this is your fault. You rejected me and now I feel worthless and-and…" she didn't finish her sentence but started crying again.

"Annabeth, had we done it you would have felt guilty and probably disgusted. Please try to understand." I pleaded.

"Save it Percy." She yelled. "I hate you."

With that she cut the phone and left those last words buzzing in my ears.

I put my phone back in my pocket and wiped a stray tear off my cheek.

_I'm sorry Annabeth_, I thought to myself. _That's how I was raised_.

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**A few points I'd like to make:**

**1.I would have described what she had had at the bar but its just that I don't drink at all so I wouldn't know.**

**2.I really don't know how to cure a hangover so I didn't elaborate.**

** R&R.**

**Thanks for reading.**


	3. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I've read some really amazing stories and now I know I'm not good enough. I would have given the excuse that I'm new but it stands invalid when I realized that a few fics I read were from first timers as well and they were way better than mine, therefore I've decided that I need a Beta.**

**So….any suggestions?**

**I don't know whether I should update even if I don't have one. I'd really hate to check out the reviews and find….unfavorable ones.**

**Tell me what you think and I'll….um…do something about it.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews and here's the next chapter.

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**Chapter 3. I'm sorry that my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants.**

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I'm Percy Jackson and finally I can say that I'm not a virgin.

Yep, my best friend, Annabeth Chase, and I did it yesterday after our graduation. You know a few self motivating talks, a couple of pushes from friends and, VOILA, I asked Annabeth to be my girlfriend. Apparently, she had been waiting for that question for a couple of years. She got so excited that all but jumped on me and we started kissing. The kiss escalated to a make out session and before anyone of us was aware, I was taking her up to my room.

Morning came and she had left.

She had a home of her own and her parents were probably worried about her not reaching home early. Though they had cut some slack over graduation but still…

She hadn't picked up my phone throughout the day, she was probably tired and would be feeling a bit awkward over her first time. I mean I wasn't feeling comfortable either. Contended? Yes. Comfortable? No.

So tonight, which happened to be our graduation party night, I was hoping to talk to her. Maybe clear the uneasiness she was, probably, feeling and officially began our relationship.

I drove over to Annabeth's home hoping to pick her up but her parents told me that she had already left. Skipping part 1 of the plan I moved towards the venue which was, coincidently, my best friend Grover's place.

"Hey Perce." Grover greeted me as I stepped out of the car. Apparently, he had been waiting for me.

I actually had wanted to talk to Annabeth so I just replied, "Hey Grover. Do you know where Annabeth is?"

"Yeah, she arrived a few minutes ago. Last time I saw her she was talking to Rachel."

"K, thanks." With that I walked into the house looking for the two of them.

Moving around the place I encountered Luke and Thalia locking lips, kissing like there was no tomorrow.

"Sorry to interrupt the intimacy session" I began "but do you know where Annabeth and Rachel are?"

Without taking their mouths off each other, Thalia raised her hand and slapped me while Luke pointed towards the garden.

My hands rubbed my feet while my feet carried me outside. I roamed around until I heard voices.

Two to be exact.

"….did it with him." I recognized this voice as Rachel's.

"I know, I can't believe I'm no longer a virgin." Annabeth's voice sounded.

"No that's not what I meant. I meant with him. Percy?" Rachel said.

I didn't mean to but I couldn't resist eavesdropping.

"What do you mean?" Annabeth asked.

"I mean…you know…its Percy."

"I really don't understand."

Someone took a deep breath, probably Rachel and began, "Look Percy is nice and all but you know…um…uh…ok. Just screw this. How was it?"

"You know, now that you ask, it wasn't what I expected." Annabeth answered a bit awkwardly. I didn't get what she meant so I just kept listening.

"I knew it wasn't I mean Percy Jackson doesn't particularly look…you know…um…skilled." Of course I wasn't. Rachel knew enough about me to know that I was a virgin and I definitely wasn't among those guys who spent their nights watching porn.

"I know, I mean he was a virgin too you know." Annabeth said.

"Look girl, you know what I mean. I really like Percy as a friend. He's nice and supportive and easy going and really helpful but not sex material. I mean look at…um…Nico."

"Nico?"

"Yeah Nico. He's tall and handsome and muscular…you know completely ripped." Rachel finished. I swear I heard a dreamy sigh.

"And that concerns…" Annabeth left the sentence hanging in the middle.

"Sex. Look, I don't pretend to know how it was like for you but I'm guessing you didn't get an orgasm."

"Probably not. I mean I don't know the feeling but…" I stood there completely stunned. I had asked Annabeth after our experience and she had said that she had enjoyed it. Apparently she had lied to me.

"But what?" Rachel persisted.

"But I didn't feel what they describe in romance novels and stories and stuff."

"And, as a matter of fact, have you noticed that in all those novels stuff goes like _'I could feel his hard_ _abs under my fingers'_ and _'his strong muscular arms held me up while he pumped_-"

"Ok ok I get it." Annabeth stopped Rachel in mid sentence. "You sure?" Annabeth continued.

"Of course I'm sure. I mean if you do it with Nico you'll know what the hype about sex is all about." Rachel said.

"I think you're right…I mean I do agree with you on the whole 'facts-in-novels' thing."

"Excellent. So you up for a night with a stud?" All I could do glued at that spot was whisper to myself- _Please don't. Say no. Please, please, please._

"Sure." Annabeth answered and broke me apart.

The voices died away but I stayed where I was standing, trying to collect myself, glue myself together, hoping to last until I, at least, reach my home.

When finally reality hit me I realized I was, pathetically, sitting up against the wall with my arms wrapped around myself.

Slowly I got up clutching myself, trying to hold it together. Trying and failing. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't control the burning in my eyes, the tears that were forming. I needed to get out. And I did.

I rushed towards where my car was parked. While I moved I got my sun glasses out and put them on. Just as I was about to exit, Grover caught up with me.

"Hey Perce , where to? And why do you have shades on in the night?" He asked.

"Nothing just…have to do a bit of chores at home. "

"Sun glasses?"

"Dude its RAY BAN. _Never hide_." I replied and faked a smile.

He knew something was wrong but didn't pursue, just nodded.

I ran. I couldn't hold it anymore. Without bothering about my car, I ran.

Frustration, anger, jealousy and most of all hurt ran through my body. Affecting every nerve, every muscle, every fibre of my being and I ran.

I didn't stop, I couldn't because I knew for a fact that the moment this rush dies out I'll break.

I just kept running.

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**I hope you like it. Please review.**

**Ciao.**


	5. Chapter 4

**Here's the next chapter. Thank you all for your reviews. Enjoy...not in a happy way, but a satisfied one.**

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**Chapter 4: I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised.**

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"It sucked!" Annabeth practically yelled at Rachel.

"C'mon it couldn't have been that bad. After all he is a really nice guy." Rachel said.

"Ok. Who opens the car door and tries to help me out of the car, making me feel weak? Or who pulls out a chair in a restaurant as if I can't do that? Or who hands me a napkin after I've finished food making me feel like an idiot? Or-"Annabeth ranted on.

Rachel cut her and said; "He did all of that?"

"Yes…can you imagine my embarrassment?" Annabeth whined.

"Huh? I think it was really sweet of him."

"You know what? I think you suck too."

"Aw Annie, I just think it was very…gentlemanly of him."

"If it was, it was absolutely uncalled for." Annabeth said defiantly. "And don't call me Annie." She added as an afterthought.

"C'mon babe, every girl dreams of having a guy who does sweet things like that for her, and not only had you actually found a guy like that but a really good looking one too."

"Well I hate it, and also the fact that Percy was acting like a total freak." Annabeth said.

I stared at the screen of Luke's laptop while the owner was sitting there smirking at me. He had come over to my home in the evening. Normally I would have shut the door right at his face but, unfortunately, my mom had opened the door so I had to let him in. He said he had something to show me and whipped out his laptop at started a video recording of Annabeth and Rachel discussing our date.

And here he was sitting and smiling at the fact that I had ruined my date and chance with Annabeth.

Listening to what Annabeth had to say about our date I flashbacked to that moment trying to figure out what had gone wrong.

I had driven to her home picked her up, had dinner, drove back to her home, shared the customary end-of-date kiss and left.

_What the fuck went wrong?_

Then, hit after hit, Annabeth's words came back to me:

_Who opens the car door and tries to help me out of the car, making me feel weak? Or who pulls out a chair in a restaurant as if I can't do that? Or who hands me a napkin after I've finished food making me feel like an idiot?_

I just did what I should have done. I did what any decent guy would have done.

It was just how I was raised, to respect women, to not make them feel burdened, to make them comfortable. It was just….

My thoughts were cut off by a sound which felt like a muffled chuckle. I looked up to find Luke trying to hide his smile.

Of course, he would laugh. I should have understood the moment he entered my home that he was about to show me something that would hurt me.

And what's worse? He succeeded. _Fucking moron._

But I couldn't let him have the satisfaction that he did beat me. So I just looked at him, gave him a faint smile and said, "Looks like its your turn."

"Of course, loser." Luke responded in a superior tone.

See, Luke also had had an attraction towards Annabeth. But it was more of in a sexual way. Luke was just a player who looked at Annabeth like she was another game to score at. And he disgusted me.

"You know, I was wondering why Annabeth even agreed to go on a date with you. I mean you're a dork, immature, way too nice and a complete freak. I on the other hand am…well _me_."

_Yeah an imbecile, an idiot and a jerk._ I wanted to say all of this but I couldn't. it was as though my speech was taken away.

I was sad not because Luke had won but because I had lost.

I was upset not because Luke had a chance with Annabeth but because I ruined mine.

And I was hurt not because I our date sucked but because Annabeth didn't like it.

I turned away from Luke and pinched the bridge of my nose hard enough to stop the stupid and unfamiliar tears forming in my eyes.

Behind me Luke said, "Well…I should get going. Have a date to plan and all." He got up and turned to leave, but then I heard him say, "Don't worry Percy, I'll give you all the details…_all of them_."

I pinched my nose harder and clenched my other fist.

I heard Luke say a goodbye to my mom and then the opening and closing of the door.

Suddenly something snapped in me and I ran after Luke. I caught him as he was about to leave the building.

Grabbing him by the color, I whispered an inch from his face, "Break her heart and I'll break you neck."

I let go of him after that and ran back into my apartment, into my room.

Standing in front of the mirror I looked at myself and finally, when I couldn't take it anymore, slammed my fist against it.

As the shards fell off the frame I caught one final look on my face. I feature which wasn't there when the mirror was intact. One thing that I should have expected but didn't. One thing that I wished would vanish.

_Tears.

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**Hope you liked it. Please R&R. I'd really like to read your views.**

**Ciao.**


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